Code 31

(Video clip of this scene -- from start to about 2:10)

In an old abandoned church, under the gaze of the hauntingly beautiful woman depicted in stained glass, an officer of the RCM is contorting his body into idiotically rigid shapes as he dances madly to the beat of anodic dance music. It's not you, of course, but your partner, a heavyset man with insane mutton chops, busting a move in an improbable manner. A spiky-haired young man joins him, shuffling his feet and waving his arms. In a far corner of the church, you're aware of a woman standing before a radiocomputer, nodding her head to the beat while the teenagers get their groove on.

"What's going on here?" You look at your fellow officer and the speedfreaks grinding in the church, a group of unhinged lunatics. "Delinquents," you grumble.

"Code 31! Code 31!" your partner cries suddenly.

You squeeze the bridge of your nose. "A Code 31 emergency? Really?"

"Yes, officer in need of assistance... ON THE DANCE FLOOR!"

You cross your arms with a bemused look. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" You're forced to yell over the futuristic music blasting from the speakers.

"I'm not doing anything. The music made its mind up a long time ago -- I'm just implementing!"

"Good for you!" You look around the church. "Rock on, then..."

"We ain't going anywhere until we tear shit up!"

"What?"

"I did say there was an emergency on the dance floor, did I not? The emergency?! NOT ENOUGH KIM!"

"Oh, c'mon, Harry..." You have to try not to crack a smile.

"Lieutenant! I am only going to pull rank on you one time. And that time is NOW!"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"I assure you, I am not. Now get your groove on, lieutenant!"

"Get my what on?"

"I said: Get your goddamn groove on! BOOGIE-WOOGIE!"

"Sheesh, okay..." You adjust your spectacles, then pop your collar as high as it will go. "Okay, you psychopath. I see what you're doing there. It's jacked-up footwork, plus some... Is that Ubi folk dancing?"

One of the speedfreaks interjects. "Nah, it's not Ubi folk, it's hard core!"

"Yeah..." You snort. "Whatever."

"You talk a big talk, lieutenant! Let's see some moves!"

"Oh yeah? I did 15 years in the Juvenile Crime Unit. I can do age-inappropriate. Now check this shit out!"

You begin to heel-kick the church floor with such intensity, it's reasonable to fear you'll kick a hole right through it, causing the floor to crack and the pillars to collapse, bringing the church roof down on all of them.

You probably wouldn't give a shit, either.

Memshare: Code 31

Code 31